The Surprising Adventures
of Baron Munchausen
ed. F.J. Harvey
Darton, Navarre Society, London, 1930
(Munchausen seems
to have been an historical person, a mercenary who retired to live
in Germany in 1760. And he did indeed tell tall tales until he died
in 1797, but he never wrote them down. An Englishman named Smith published
the first batch of tales in London in 1785, with subsequent stories
in 1786. The originator of the written stories may well have been
Rudolph Erich Raspe (1737-94), though his curious life is difficult
to piece together. Interestingly, we do know that Horace Walpole --perhaps
serendipitously-- took notice of him in
1780.)
pages 97-103
CHAPTER XVIII
- A Second Visit (but an accidental one) to the Moon
The
Ship driven by a Whirlwind a Thousand Leagues above the Surface
of the Water, where a New Atmosphere meets them, and carries. them
into a Capacious Harbour in the Moon-A Description of the Inhabitants,
and their manner of coming into the Lunarian World-Animals, Customs,
Weapons of War, Wines, Vegetables, etc.
I have already
informed you of one trip I made to the moon, in search of my silver
hatchet. I afterwards made another in a much pleasanter manner, and
stayed in it long enough to take notice of several things, which I
will endeavour to describe as accurately as my memory will permit.
I went on a voyage
of discovery, at the request of a distant relation, who had a strange
notion that there were people to be found equal in magnitude to those
described by Gulliver in the empire of Brobdingnag. For my part I
always treated that account as fabulous; however, to oblige him, for
he had made me his heir, I undertook it, and sailed for the South
Seas, where we arrived without meeting with anything remarkable, except
some flying men and women, who were playing at leapfrog and dancing
minuets in the air.
On the eighteenth
day after we had passed the island of Otaheite, mentioned by Captain
Cook as the place from whence they brought Omai, a hurricane blew
our ship at least one thousand leagues above the surface of the water,
and kept it at that height, till a fresh gale arising filled the sails
in every part, and onwards we travelled at a prodigious rate: thus
we proceeded above the clouds for six weeks. At last we discovered
a great land in the sky, like a shining island, round and bright;
where, coming into a convenient harbour, we went on shore, and soon
found it was inhabited. Below us we saw another earth, containing
cities, trees, mountains, rivers, seas, etc., which we conjectured
was this world which we had left. Here we saw huge figures riding
upon vultures of a prodigious size, and each of them having three
heads. To form some idea of the magnitude of these birds, I must inform
you that each of their wings are as wide as, and six times the length
of, the main-sheet of our vessel, which was about six hundred tons.
Thus, instead of riding upon horses, as we do in this world, the inhabitants
of the moon (for we now found we were in Madam Luna) fly about on
these birds. The King, we found, was engaged in a war with the sun,
and he offered me a commission, but I declined the honour His Majesty
intended me.
Everything, in
this world is of extraordinary magnitude: a common flea being much
larger than one of our sheep. In making war their principal weapons
are radishes, which are used as darts; those who are wounded by them
die immediately. Their shields are made of mushrooms, and their darts
(when radishes are out of season) of the tops of asparagus. Some of
the natives of the dog star are to be seen here: commerce tempts them
to ramble: their faces are like large mastiffs', with their eyes near
the lower end or tip of their noses; they have no eyelids, but cover
their eyes with the end of their tongues when they go to sleep: they
are generally twenty feet high. As to the natives of the moon, none
of them are less in stature than thirty-six feet; they are not called
the human species, but the cooking animals, for they all dress their
food by fire, as we do, but lose no time at their meals, as they open
their left side and place the whole quantity at once in their stomach,
then shut it again till the same day in the next month; for they never
indulge themselves with food more than twelve times in a year, or
once a month. All but gluttons and epicures must prefer this method
to ours.
There is but one
sex either of the cooking (animals) or any other animals in the moon;
they are all produced from trees of various sizes and foliage: that
which produces the cooking animal, or human species, is much more
beautiful than any of the others; it has large straight boughs, and
flesh-coloured leaves, and the fruit it produces are nuts or pods,
with hard shells, at least two yards long: when they become ripe,
which is known from their changing colour, they are gathered with
great care, and laid by as long as they think proper: when they choose
to animate the seed of these nuts they throw them into a large cauldron
of boiling water, which opens the shells in a few hours, and out jumps
the creature.
Nature forms
their minds for different pursuits before they come into the world;
from one shell comes forth a warrior, from another a philosopher,
from a third a divine, from a fourth a lawyer, from a fifth a farmer,
from a sixth a clown, etc., and each of them immediately begin to
perfect themselves, by practising what they before knew only in theory.
When they grow
old they do not die, but turn into air, and dissolve like smoke! As
for their drink, they need none; the only evacuations they have
are insensible, and by their breath. They have but one finger
upon each hand, with which they perform everything in as perfect a
manner as we who have four besides the thumb. Their heads are placed
under their right arm; and when they are going to travel, or about
any violent exercise, they generally leave them at home, for they
can consult them at any distance. This is a very common practice:
and when those of rank or quality among the Lunarians have an inclination
to see what's going forward among the common people they stay at home--that
is, the body stays at home, and sends the head only, which is suffered
to be present incognito, and returns at pleasure with an account of
what has passed.
The stones of
their grapes are exactly like hail; and I am perfectly satisfied that
when a storm or high wind in the moon shakes their vines, and breaks
the grapes from the stalks, the stones fall down, and form our hail-showers.
I would advise those who are of my opinion to save a quantity of these
stones, when it hails next, and make Lunarian wine. It is the common
beverage at Saint Luke's. Some material circumstances I had nearly
omitted. They put their bellies to the same use we do a sack, and
throw whatever they have occasion for into it, for they can shut and
open it again when they please, as they do their stomachs; they are
not troubled with bowels, liver, heart, or any other intestines; neither
are they encumbered with clothes, nor is there any part of their bodies
unseemly or indecent to exhibit.
Their eyes they
can take in and out of their places when they please, and can see
as well with them in their hand as in their head; and if by any accident
they lose or damage one they can borrow or purchase another, and see
as clearly with it as their own. Dealers in eyes are on that account
very numerous in most parts of the moon, and in this article alone
all the inhabitants are whimsical: sometimes green and sometimes yellow
eyes are the fashion. I know these things appear strange; but if the
shadow of a doubt can remain on any person's mind, I say, let him
take a voyage there himself, and then he will know I am a traveler
of veracity.
