Top 10 Signs You Work in Public Accounting / Consulting:
10. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to
improve their process.
9. You get all excited it's Saturday so you can wear casual clothes
to work.
8. You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as
deliverables.
7. You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what
you do for a
living.
6. You normally eat out of vending machines and at the
most expensive
restaurant in town within the same week.
5. You wear gray to work instead of navy blue to make a
bold fashion
statement.
4. You know the people at the airport and hotel better
than your next
door neighbors.
3. Ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making
Friday night
plans.
2. You think Einstein would have been more effective had
he put his
ideas into a matrix.
1. You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
A new version of a MODEL AUDITORS REPORT.
We have eyeballed the ball park figures on the balance sheet as of
December 31, 19X1, and the related statements of lies, retained
deficits and flows of executive petty cash for the year then ended.
These financial statements are the responsibility of the Company's
earnings management department. Our responsibility is to make sure we
have some justification for their accounting in case we get hauled
into court.
We conducted our audit in accordance with generally accepted auditing
standards (mindful of the fact that we'd better not lose this
account). Those standards require that we plan and perform the audit
to obtain a fuzzy feeling about whether the financial statements
represent anything close to reality. An audit includes a general
rationalization of the so-called accounting policies and such tests of
the accounting records and other unsupported entries as we considered
unavoidable, subject to the constraints of our time budget and audit
fee.
Our gut feeling is that these ball park figures are not too far out in
left field and we feel fit to roll with them as the financial position
of the Company as of December 31, 19X1, having been prepared in
accordance with generally accepted corporate memos applied randomly on
a basis consistent with that of producing a satisfactory profit for
the year.
Take Care
A&A
February 15, 19X2
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