Keeping a sense of humor can be helpful in maintaining one's perspective through the whole process of graduate studies. I found the bits and pieces included in this page in the Usenet Newsgroup soc.college.grad, but I am not sure where they originated.
Take your pick:
How to Tell if You Are A Graduate Student: Part One, Part Two
You just might be a graduate student if...
...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the
progress of your own joke across the Internet.
...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your
laptop.
...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
researching a single paper.
...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider
"yours."
...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at
the library.
...you look forward to summers because you're more productive
without the distraction of classes.
...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
the actual text.
...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are
now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
...you reflexively start analyzing those greek letters before you
realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in "20th
grade".
...you start referring to stories like "Snow White et al."
...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without
getting scurvy
...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry
...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards
...you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as
"personal communication"
You just might be a grad student if:
...you can identify universities by their internet domains.
...you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
...you have difficulty reading anything that doesn't have
footnotes.
...you understand jokes about Foucault.
...the concept of free time scares you.
...you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
...you've ever brought books with you on vacation and actually
studied.
...Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
...the professor doesn't show up to class and you discuss the
readings anyway.
...you've ever travelled across two state lines specifically to
go to a library.
...you appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which* twenty
hours out of the day you have to work.
...you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you'll
get over it).
...you can read course books and cook at the same time.
...you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can
come.
...you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more
studying in.
...you've ever worn out a library card.
...you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
...you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
...you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
For some more admissions related humor, click here.
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last revised 09012000